Wednesday, November 30, 2011

So Snacky!

Today felt like a total snack-fest.  I need to reign it in tomorrow!  The stress is clearly taking over.  Work, the holidays, money... it all adds up to HUNGER.  Must make time to relax this weekend.

Breakfast:  Scrambled Eggwhites / Morningstar Sausage

Snack:  70 cal. Cheese Stick

Lunch:  Trader Joes Enchiladas and Pico de Gallo

Snack:  Apple / Trader Joes Salt & Pepper Crisps

Dinner:  Lean Cuisine Ravioli

Snack:  Weight Watchers Frozen Fudge Bar (YUM)

New Snacks!

Breakfast:  Jimmy Dean D-Lights Canadian Bacon and Eggwhite Muffin (Yum)

Lunch:  Trader Joes Vegetarian Enchilada, Pico de Gallo, 1T Guacamole

Snack:  70 cal. Cheese Stick

Dinner:  Healthy Choice Steaming Entree - Lemon Herb Chicken

Snack:  Trader Joes Salt & Pepper Crisps / Chocobilly Cookies

It was a snacky kind of day for me today.  I'm definitely feeling the repercussions of my office being inundated with holiday snacks.  I try to hold myself off all day, though, and then eat the snacks that I have at home in the portions I know will fit into my day.  Trader Joes Salt & Pepper Crisps are great!!  And they fit well into my day (at 38 crisps for 120 calories). 

Monday, November 28, 2011

Just Another Monday

Breakfast:  Jimmy Dean D-Lights -Turkey Sausage Breakfast Bowl (230 cal)

Lunch: Healthy Choice Cafe' Steamers - Spicy General Tso's Chicken / Apple

Snack:  60 Cal. Cheese Stick

Dinner:  Healthy Choice Traditional Classics - Oven Roasted Chicken / Miniature Pickles (0 Cal. - so great!)

Snack:  60 Cal. Cheese Stick / Quakes

Trying to stay strong in this holiday season and to stay away from all of the junk food.  In some moments I'm white knuckling it, but I'm hanging in there.  Hope you are, too!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

So Close to 15

Breakfast:  3 Scrambled Eggwhites (use a non-stick spray instead of butter), 3 Morningstar Sausage Links

Lunch:  Healthy Choice Traditional Classic - Country Herb Chicken

Snack:  70 cal. Cheese Stick

Dinner: Healthy Choice 100% Natural - Asian Potstickers

Snack:  Pickles
Late Snack:  Quakes

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Saturday - A Food Experiment

Breakfast:  Oatmeal with Raisins

Lunch:  Healthy Choice Steaming Entree - Sesame Glazed Chicken (Yum!!)

Snack:  70 cal Cheese Stick

... and now for the experiment...

Dinner:  I've been craving Mexican food for a week or so and so I thought I'd try to put something interesting together while still staying within my 290-330 calorie dinner schedule.  For about 300 calories, I had a shredded lettuce salad with mashed pinto beans (mash 'em yourself instead of buying refried and it'll save you about 20-30 calories per serving), no-fat sour cream, guacamole, pico-de-gallo, and some salsa.  I topped it with some pickled jalapenos and let me tell you - IT WAS GREAT!  Also, it was so high in fiber that I couldn't even finish it.  Great way to end the day. 

Friday, November 25, 2011

Black Friday!

Today I tried to temper some of yesterday's caloric intake by cutting lunch.  I'm hoping that it will leave my weekly average on par.  Luckily, I was exhausted from the Thanksgiving festivities and took a nice mid-day nap which alleviated some hunger.  I woke up in a panic from a dream that I was eating an entire pizza! I decided to have a sensible dinner instead.

Breakfast:  Oatmeal, raisins
Lunch:  70 cal. Cheese Stick
Dinner:  Jamaican Jerk Chicken Healthy Choice Select Entree, small apple, 60 cal. cheese stick

Here's to a nice remainder to the amazing long weekend!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thanksgiving

I fell asleep early last night knowing that I would be getting up today to cook for Thanksgiving dinner.  I totally neglected to leave my food diary, so here it is...

Wednesday:
Breakfast:  Green Apple and 70 Cal Cheese Stick
Snack: Trader Joe's Rice Crisps (Salt and Pepper Flavor)
Lunch:  Healthy Choice Select Entree - Ravioli Chicken Marinara (so good!!)
Dinner: Healthy Choice Complete Dinner - Beef Potroast
Snack:  Quakes

Thanksgiving Day:
I ate everything today that I wanted to, but ate it in very controlled portions.  Also, I didn't have dessert.  I came away feeling full but not nauseous, and was kind of excited that I didn't feel so great after eating more than I have been on a usual basis.  I enjoyed the day!

Here come the holidays.  With a little perseverance and control, we'll get through just fine.  :-)

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Weird Food Day

Today was a weird food day because I had to host a work lunch at a Chinese restaurant.  I averted disaster by asking for chicken and snow peas to be steamed (not fried) and to have some brown sauce on the side.  I also had some steamed rice.  I adjusted my portion based upon what I've been eating day-to-day with Healthy Choice meals and had a really pleasant time!  I initially thought I'd feel left out and deprived when in fact I ended up feeling really great.

I didn't eat breakfast because I knew that my caloric intake at lunch would probably be higher than normal (not the best idea, I know).  I had some of the left-overs for dinner and a snack of Quakes while enjoying some tv.

Have a good day tomorrow!  Thanksgiving is almost here!

Monday, November 21, 2011

How Lucky Am I?

I was thinking today about my friends.  I have the same best friends today that I've had since I was twelve.  I know how unusual something like that is and I feel really lucky when I think about them!  I have made friends in my adult life, as well, and most of the ones I hold dear I've had for at least 15 years.  It's amazing, isn't it?  <3

Breakfast:  1/2 c Oatmeal, raisins, cinnamon

Lunch: Healthy Choice Honey Balsamic Chicken Steaming Entree with added spinach and 1 mozzarella string cheese stick

Dinner:  Healthy Choice Beef Strips Portabella Complete Meal

Snack:  Quakes rice snacks

Sunday, November 20, 2011

The Beginning

To catch you up...

Saturday, November 19th:

Breakfast - 1/2 Cup of Quaker Old Fashioned Oats - Yep, the ones you have to cook.  Add a packet of Splenda, about 15-20 raisins, and a sprinkling of cinnamon and it's great!  If it doesn't taste great at first, give it some time.  Your body needs to come down off of a sugar and salt high.  It'll happen.  :-)

Snack - 1 stick of string cheese - get the light version. It's mozzarella cheese and no, it doesn't really taste like much, but it curbs hunger. (1 Frigo Cheese Heads Light String Cheese Stick)

Lunch - Honey Balsamic Chicken Healthy Choice Steaming Entree.  Add some frozen spinach if you want to get a little crazy!

Snack - 1 medium sized apple

Dinner - Slow Roasted Turkey Medallions Healthy Choice Select Entree.  One 6oz serving of very low fat or fat free plain yogurt.  Plain, not vanilla.  I like mine with some Splenda and a drop or two of vanilla.  It's also good with a sprinkling of crystal light drink mix!

Snack - Eat something under 130 calories... I like Quakes rice snacks.  There are other selections at the links posted in the left bar, but I warn you - some are very yummy and it's hard to eat a small portion.  Be careful!


Sunday, November 20th:

Breakfast - 1/2 Cup of Quaker Old Fashioned Oats with raisins, cinnamon, and Splenda

Snack - 12 Blueberries

Lunch - Roasted Chicken Verde Healthy Choice Steaming Entree with added frozen spinach

Snack - 1 Frigo Cheese Heads Reduced Fat Colby Jack Snack Sticks Cheese Stick

Dinner - Pumpkin Squash Ravioli Healthy Choice 100% Natural Meal, 1 string cheese, 1/2 apple

Snack - 1 serving of Quakes caramel crisps

In the posted links in the left bar, you'll see what items I'm buying and eating.  This is a fairly inexpensive way to eat.  In the height of my out of control eating, I can spend as much as $600-$700/month on meals I'm eating out at restaurants.  That also includes whatever I'd buy at the grocery, drive-thrus, Quickie Marts, and any other food supply store.  On this plan, I eat for under $200/month.  Healthy Choice posts great coupons which makes them easily accessible to most.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

The Project

Beating 40.  I'm in a race against time against the big four - oh.  I gotta tell ya, when I look back through a twelve year old's eyes and remember where I thought I'd be at 20 and 30, I've totally missed the mark. No higher education degree.  No princely husband and white dress and white picket fence.  No 401K.  Hell, no savings at all.  No Porche (lament).  I'm 37 and single.  I live in a small town, and have a small job.  I have cats.  Not ten, mind you, but two - and that's enough.  I have a loving relationship for the first time in my life with a guy who actually puts up with me.  I like to believe it's because he understands me and sees me for my potential's worth.  I think, because of that, I have the guts to take this step for the first time in my life.  Because I can't fail.  Even if I fail, he won't see me as a failure, and that's all I need to know.

My mom and dad were 30 when I came along.  I wish I could say that it was a happy childhood, but it wasn't.  Take an overbearing mom and an under-protective dad.  Add a dash of sexual abuse (by a "friend" of the family).  Add a pound of emotional abuse.  Sprinkle in the occasional abusive boyfriend.  Bake for thirty years and voila. You know the story.

I'm 5'8 and I weigh 265 pounds.  I've been to counseling.  I've been to Overeater's Anonymous.  I've been back to counseling.  And although I've learned a lot about myself along the way, I haven't learned how to turn down that huge voice inside my head that drives me to eat.  It's like having no control of your actions... like a twitch or a yawn. It's knowing what not to do and doing it anyway. It's screaming out in a library or running wildly through the glassware section of a department store. It's negotiation, constant talking, back and forth, do I don't I, tiring. It's gasping for air when there's no room to breathe.

And you'll say, "Just don't eat."  To those of you who feel that way, I ask you to read extensively about addictions before you pass judgement.  I've always known I've had a problem but have felt powerless to do anything about it.  Over the last few years, I've learned how to regain a modicum of control, but it only goes so far.  There are moments where you just have to step back, go to sleep, get as far away from food as you can because it is so big.  So, intimidating.  So controlling.

So here's to thirty-nine.  I'll be posting my daily menu so that if you're here, with me, you'll know you're not alone.  After purchasing a week's worth of food from very expensive frozen foods program through a website, I have chosen to switch to Healthy Choice meals.  I am following an outline that will include frozen meals that range between 200 and 300 calories, daily servings of fruit and dairy, and a snack to end the day.  I am not a professional, but I know that healthy people can thrive on this kind of caloric outline.  There are many means to the same end and this is the path I've chosen.  If you need a supportive voice or a hand to hold, I'm here.  And I'll be here every day.  Until thirty-nine.