Project 39

Holiday Reset

2011-12-28T20:30:00.000-08:00

Today I fasted most of the day because my body felt so bogged down by my holiday food fest. I had a normal dinner tonight and a snack and plan to pick up tomorrow. Hope you're getting back on track, too!

Breakfast: Water

Lunch: Water

Dinner: Healthy Choice Steaming Entrees - Chicken Romano Fresca, 70 Cal Cheese Stick

Snack: 70 Cal Pudding, popcorn

Uh-Oh - The Holidays!

2011-12-26T20:17:00.000-08:00

I am sorry I haven't written all week. The Christmas Holidays have taken over! I had been abiding by my normal routine consisting of my average daily menu until Christmas Day. I cooked a roast chicken dinner with mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and a Greek dish called Spanakopita. You can find that recipe on many websites. I used all low or no-fat ingredients in everything I made. I substituted "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" for butter, and used no-fat sour cream for the mashed potatoes. All in all, I did everything I could to reduce the caloric impact of the meal even though I had prepared myself to enjoy whatever I wanted, in any quantity I wanted, guilt-free. It was fantastic! I'll be back to the grind tomorrow (menu included) and will check in with you then.

Just Meals

2011-12-21T07:44:00.000-08:00

Tuesday:

Breakfast - Jimmy Dean D-Lights Breakfast Muffin with Canadian Bacon

Lunch - Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers - Chicken Marinara Ravioli, 70 Cal Cheese Stick

Dinner - Healthy Choice 100% Natural - Pumpkin Ravioli with Asparagus

Snack - Organic No-Oil Low Sodium Popcorn

Have a great day!

The Weekend of Pizza

2011-12-19T19:12:00.001-08:00

My boyfriend and I were really craving a pizza this weekend and we put it off on Friday... we put it off on Saturday... and finally, on Sunday, we caved. When I honestly diagnosed my desire for pizza, I realized that what I really wanted was garlic breadsticks. So when my boyfriend ordered his pizza, that's what I had him order for me. Granted, not the best food choice - I readily admit that. However, traditionally, I would have ordered and eaten the pizza AND the breadsticks just to justify eating what I really wanted. Also, I didn't eat an entire BOX of breadsticks. To compensate for the calories, I cut snacks out today. Was it worth it? No, not really. Another lesson learned (second to the movie-theatre popcorn incident). I am learning to listen to my body more and I feel really tired and lethargic when eating foods that aren't on my regular meal rotation. It's just too much work to digest junk food. I don't want to do it anymore and I am going to try to avoid it.

Monday:
Breakfast - Jimmy Dean D-Lights Breakfast Muffin with Canadian Bacon

Lunch - Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers - Chicken Linguini with Red Pepper Alfredo (yum)

Dinner - Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers - Kung Pao Chicken (yum); 70 Cal Cheese Stick

Sunday:
Breakfast - Jimmy Dean D-Lights Breakfast Muffin with Canadian Bacon

Lunch - Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers - Chicken Margherita with Balsamic (yum!)

Snack - Swiss Miss Chocolate Pudding - 70 Cal

Dinner - 5 Bread Sticks from a Pizza Place - ugh! Yuck!

Snack - Organic no-oil popcorn

Saturday:
Breakfast - Jimmy Dean D-Lights Breakfast Muffin with Canadian Bacon

Lunch - Healthy Choice Traditional Classics - Chicken Pesto Alfredo; 70 cal Cheese Stick

Dinner - Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers - Chicken Linguini with Red Pepper Alfredo (yum)

Snack - Swiss Miss 70 Cal Chocolate Pudding - such a fantastic 70 cals!

Trying to Keep Up

2011-12-16T20:55:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the on-again, off-again posting. I'm just trying to keep UP this week, it seems. I hope you're hanging in there this holiday season and doing your best to stay focused through all of the amazing holiday junk food!

Breakfast: 3 Eggwhites / 3 Turkey Sausages

Lunch: Healthy Choice Traditional Classics - Country Herb Chicken , 70 Cal Cheese Stick

Dinner: 1 Small Fried Chicken Thigh (oh, yeah - I did); Healthy Choice Steaming Entrees - Lemon Herb Chicken. I was so full from the chicken thigh that I only ate 1/2 of this meal.

Snack: 70 Jello Chocolate Pudding

Thursday:

Breakfast: Oatmeal

Lunch: Healthy Choice Steaming Entree - Thai Style Chicken and Vegetables

Dinner: Healthy Choice Steaming Entree - Sesame Glazed Chicken

Snack: Quakes

So Many Holiday Parties!

2011-12-14T21:41:00.000-08:00

I've been in an ongoing nightmare of eating out - and figuring out how to eat on my plan while in many different kinds of restaurants. Yesterday I had a corporate lunch and a work party Italian dinner. Today I had a holiday lunch party and left-overs for dinner. I'm just hanging in for dear life and hoping it all comes out okay!

Wednesday:

Breakfast: Small Apple (Still Full From Last Night!!)

Lunch: Salmon Filet, Roasted Potatoes, and Roasted Brussels Sprouts - Amazing!

Dinner: Leftover Ravioli (4 large with NO sauce) - leftover chicken breast

Snack: 1/6 slice of Candied Apple with Caramel and Mini M&Ms - oh, the pain! ;-)

Tuesday:

Breakfast: 3 Eggwhites - 3 Turkey Sausage Links

Lunch: Grilled Lime-Cilantro Chicken, Rice, Cabbage Corn-Salsa Slaw - a 550 calorie meal at Applebee's - so delicious. I ate 2/3 of the meal.

Dinner: 4 Portabella Ravioli with NO Sauce. 1/2 Breadstick. Medium Green Salad with 1tsp Italian Dressing

Movie Sunday

2011-12-12T20:35:00.000-08:00

I saved up some calories so that I could have movie theatre popcorn yesterday. I've gotta say - not worth it! I found some amazing pop-at-home organic, low-sodium popcorn that has this tasty powdered salt on it. I wish I would have smuggled THAT into the movie instead! The entire popped bag only has 240 calories vs. the ton of calories in the stuff in the theater. Oh, well. Lesson learned.

Monday:

Breakfast - Oatmeal with raisins and cinnamon

Lunch - Healthy Choice Cafe' Steamers - Chicken Marinara Ravioli with added spinach

Snack - 70 cal. Cheese Stick

Dinner - Healthy Choice Steaming Entrees - Honey Mustard Chicken - yum!

Snack - Snackwell's Chocolate Cookies 100 cal. pack

Sunday:

Breakfast - Jimmy Dean D-lights Muffin with Eggwhites and Canadian Bacon

Lunch - Movie Theatre Popcorn

Dinner - Healthy Choice Traditional Classics - Oven Roasted Chicken

Snack - Weight Watchers Fudge-pop - 100 Cals

Say "Cheese"

2011-12-10T22:20:00.000-08:00

I was watching a program late last night regarding eating disorders in women. One of the featured women in the story explained that she can look at any photo taken of her since the onset of her ED and can remember how she felt about the photo, what she was wearing and what it took to get into those clothes, and where she was in the cycle of ED at the time. Can you do that? I can! I hope for the day when I can look at a no-strings-attached photograph of myself!

Breakfast: Jimmy Dean D-Lights Muffin with Canadian Bacon

Lunch: Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers - Chicken Linguini with Red Pepper Alfredo - YUM

Snack: Snackwells 100 cal pack - Chocolate Cookies

Dinner: Healthy Choice 100% Naturals - Asian Potstickers, Trader Joe's Rice Crisps

Snack: Weight Watchers Chocolate Fudge Pop - 100 cal.

I Hit the Big 2-0 (And it Only Took 35 Days)

2011-12-09T22:52:00.000-08:00

Breakfast: Jimmy Dean D-Lights Breakfast Muffin with Canadian Bacon

Lunch: I had to eat at a business lunch today at an Italian restaurant and opted for 3 large (about 2.5") ricotta-stuffed ravioli with no sauce and a garden salad with about 1/2 tsp of dressing. I also had 1/2 of a bread stick.

Dinner: Healthy Choice Steaming Entree - Chicken Romano Fresca

Snack: Weight Watchers large frozen fudge bar

Enjoy the weekend!

Creeping Along

2011-12-08T21:41:00.000-08:00

I've been strategizing on ways to drink more water and have started buying the little Crystal Light flavor packets. They're great in water and in soda water for home made soda drinks!

Today:
Breakfast - 3 Eggwhites / 3 Turkey Sausage Links

Snack - 100 cal packet of Pop Tarts

Lunch - Healthy Choice Cafe Steamer - Kung Pao Chicken (yum)

Snack - 100 cal packet Snack Wells Cookies

Dinner - Healthy Choice Traditional Classics - Oven Roasted Chicken / 70 cal Cheese Stick

Snack - Quakes

Yesterday:
Breakfast - 3 Eggwhites / 3 Turkey Sausages

Lunch - Healthy Choice 100% Naturals- Pumpkin Ravioli / 70 Cal Cheese Stick

Snack - 100 cal Snackwell Cookie Pack

Dinner - Healthy Choice Steaming Entree - Chicken Romano Fresca (yum)

Snack - Organic Oil-Free Low Sodium Popcorn

Still Under the Weather

2011-12-06T20:16:00.000-08:00

I live in Oregon and it's gray. And foggy. And dark. Gray and foggy and dark don't exactly make for the happiest of outlooks. It's going to be an adjustment since it's my first winter on the west coast. I think it's time to hunker down and just make the best of it!

Breakfast: 3 Eggwhites, 3 Turkey Sausage Links

Lunch: Healthy Choice Cafe Steamer - General Tso's Spicy Chicken

Snack: 70 Cal. Cheese Stick

Dinner: Healthy Choice New Classics - Sausage Marinara Pasta with Green Beans

Snack: Low Sodium Popcorn

Late Late Late!

2011-12-05T19:31:00.000-08:00

I'm running behind the times! Work has been so busy. On the up (and down) side, I'm not feeling well today and am not hungry at all. Blah!

Yesterday:

Breakfast: 3 servings of Egg Whites and 3 Turkey Sausage Links

Lunch: Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers - General Tso's Spicy Chicken

Snack: 70 cal Cheese Stick

Dinner: Healthy Choice Traditional Classics - Country Herb Chicken

Today:

Breakfast: Jimmy Dean D-Lights Breakfast Muffin with Canadian Bacon

Lunch: Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers - Grilled Basil Chicken

Snack: 70 cal Cheese Stick

Dinner: Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers - Chicken Ravioli Marinara (added spinach)

Snack: Trader Joe's Rice Crisps

Eating Out

2011-12-04T09:03:00.000-08:00

Today I had a hankering for a steak - I'm thinking I might not be getting enough iron and may start taking a supplement. In light of that, though, I decided to take the opportunity to have a night out with my boyfriend (who has been extremely supportive of my diet changes and has even joined me in eating frozen meals so that I don't feel deprived). We decided on a steakhouse that serves steaks as small as 6oz. I also had a couple of small shrimp. All in all, it was a lovely evening and I plan to cut snacks today to make up for the larger portion I ate last night.

Breakfast: Oatmeal, raisins

Snack: 70 cal Cheese Stick

Lunch: Healthy Choice Steaming Entree - Chicken Marsala (yum)

Snack: Trader Joe's Rice Crisps

Dinner: 4.5oz of a 6oz dry-grilled lean steak (giving the last little bit to a dinner partner always helps!); 2 small dry-grilled shrimp; steamed broccoli; green salad with cabbage, tomatoes, cucumbers and 1T of ranch dressing; three 3/4" croutons; 2"x2" pumpernickel bread

The Miracle of the Well-Fitting Pants

2011-12-02T20:35:00.000-08:00

It happened today - I got back into a pair of pants that I love. I tried to wear them all along, but they were just ill-fitting and uncomfortable. Not anymore! Thanks, Healthy Choice!

Breakfast - Jimmy Dean D-Lights Breakfast Muffin with Canadian Bacon

Snack - 70 Cal. Cheese Stick

Lunch - Trader Joe's Frozen Chicken Tikka Masala (300 cals and amazingly good)

Snack - Quakes

Dinner - Healthy Choice Steamers - Chicken Ravioli Marinara (my fav)

Snack - 70 Cal. Cheese Stick

Snack - Weight Watchers Frozen Fudge Pop

Sixteen - Finally

2011-12-01T20:46:00.000-08:00

I'm on track and have officially crossed over to the other side of the 100lb mark. I officially have 99lbs to lose. Let's do it!

Breakfast: Jimmy Dean D-Lights Breakfast Bowl

Snack: 70 cal Cheese Stick

Lunch: Healthy Choice - Barbecue Seasoned Steak with Red Potatoes - If you are a fan of BBQ sauce, you'll probably love this one / Apple

Snack: Trader Joe's Rice Crisps

Dinner: Healthy Choice Select Entree - Slow Roasted Turkey Medallions / 70 cal Cheese Stick

Snack: Weight Watchers Frozen Fudge Bar

So Snacky!

2011-11-30T21:39:00.000-08:00

Today felt like a total snack-fest. I need to reign it in tomorrow! The stress is clearly taking over. Work, the holidays, money... it all adds up to HUNGER. Must make time to relax this weekend.

Breakfast: Scrambled Eggwhites / Morningstar Sausage

Snack: 70 cal. Cheese Stick

Lunch: Trader Joes Enchiladas and Pico de Gallo

Snack: Apple / Trader Joes Salt & Pepper Crisps

Dinner: Lean Cuisine Ravioli

Snack: Weight Watchers Frozen Fudge Bar (YUM)

New Snacks!

2011-11-30T07:53:00.000-08:00

Breakfast: Jimmy Dean D-Lights Canadian Bacon and Eggwhite Muffin (Yum)

Lunch: Trader Joes Vegetarian Enchilada, Pico de Gallo, 1T Guacamole

Snack: 70 cal. Cheese Stick

Dinner: Healthy Choice Steaming Entree - Lemon Herb Chicken

Snack: Trader Joes Salt & Pepper Crisps / Chocobilly Cookies

It was a snacky kind of day for me today. I'm definitely feeling the repercussions of my office being inundated with holiday snacks. I try to hold myself off all day, though, and then eat the snacks that I have at home in the portions I know will fit into my day. Trader Joes Salt & Pepper Crisps are great!! And they fit well into my day (at 38 crisps for 120 calories).

Just Another Monday

2011-11-28T21:58:00.000-08:00

Breakfast: Jimmy Dean D-Lights -Turkey Sausage Breakfast Bowl (230 cal)

Lunch: Healthy Choice Cafe' Steamers - Spicy General Tso's Chicken / Apple

Snack: 60 Cal. Cheese Stick

Dinner: Healthy Choice Traditional Classics - Oven Roasted Chicken / Miniature Pickles (0 Cal. - so great!)

Snack: 60 Cal. Cheese Stick / Quakes

Trying to stay strong in this holiday season and to stay away from all of the junk food. In some moments I'm white knuckling it, but I'm hanging in there. Hope you are, too!

So Close to 15

2011-11-27T19:33:00.000-08:00

Breakfast: 3 Scrambled Eggwhites (use a non-stick spray instead of butter), 3 Morningstar Sausage Links

Lunch: Healthy Choice Traditional Classic - Country Herb Chicken

Snack: 70 cal. Cheese Stick

Dinner: Healthy Choice 100% Natural - Asian Potstickers

Snack: Pickles
Late Snack: Quakes

Saturday - A Food Experiment

2011-11-26T20:19:00.000-08:00

Breakfast: Oatmeal with Raisins

Lunch: Healthy Choice Steaming Entree - Sesame Glazed Chicken (Yum!!)

Snack: 70 cal Cheese Stick

... and now for the experiment...

Dinner: I've been craving Mexican food for a week or so and so I thought I'd try to put something interesting together while still staying within my 290-330 calorie dinner schedule. For about 300 calories, I had a shredded lettuce salad with mashed pinto beans (mash 'em yourself instead of buying refried and it'll save you about 20-30 calories per serving), no-fat sour cream, guacamole, pico-de-gallo, and some salsa. I topped it with some pickled jalapenos and let me tell you - IT WAS GREAT! Also, it was so high in fiber that I couldn't even finish it. Great way to end the day.

Black Friday!

2011-11-25T22:43:00.000-08:00

Today I tried to temper some of yesterday's caloric intake by cutting lunch. I'm hoping that it will leave my weekly average on par. Luckily, I was exhausted from the Thanksgiving festivities and took a nice mid-day nap which alleviated some hunger. I woke up in a panic from a dream that I was eating an entire pizza! I decided to have a sensible dinner instead.

Breakfast: Oatmeal, raisins
Lunch: 70 cal. Cheese Stick
Dinner: Jamaican Jerk Chicken Healthy Choice Select Entree, small apple, 60 cal. cheese stick

Here's to a nice remainder to the amazing long weekend!

Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T22:33:00.000-08:00

I fell asleep early last night knowing that I would be getting up today to cook for Thanksgiving dinner. I totally neglected to leave my food diary, so here it is...

Wednesday:
Breakfast: Green Apple and 70 Cal Cheese Stick
Snack: Trader Joe's Rice Crisps (Salt and Pepper Flavor)
Lunch: Healthy Choice Select Entree - Ravioli Chicken Marinara (so good!!)
Dinner: Healthy Choice Complete Dinner - Beef Potroast
Snack: Quakes

Thanksgiving Day:
I ate everything today that I wanted to, but ate it in very controlled portions. Also, I didn't have dessert. I came away feeling full but not nauseous, and was kind of excited that I didn't feel so great after eating more than I have been on a usual basis. I enjoyed the day!

Here come the holidays. With a little perseverance and control, we'll get through just fine. :-)

Weird Food Day

2011-11-22T21:38:00.000-08:00

Today was a weird food day because I had to host a work lunch at a Chinese restaurant. I averted disaster by asking for chicken and snow peas to be steamed (not fried) and to have some brown sauce on the side. I also had some steamed rice. I adjusted my portion based upon what I've been eating day-to-day with Healthy Choice meals and had a really pleasant time! I initially thought I'd feel left out and deprived when in fact I ended up feeling really great.

I didn't eat breakfast because I knew that my caloric intake at lunch would probably be higher than normal (not the best idea, I know). I had some of the left-overs for dinner and a snack of Quakes while enjoying some tv.

Have a good day tomorrow! Thanksgiving is almost here!

How Lucky Am I?

2011-11-21T20:42:00.000-08:00

I was thinking today about my friends. I have the same best friends today that I've had since I was twelve. I know how unusual something like that is and I feel really lucky when I think about them! I have made friends in my adult life, as well, and most of the ones I hold dear I've had for at least 15 years. It's amazing, isn't it? <3

Breakfast: 1/2 c Oatmeal, raisins, cinnamon

Lunch: Healthy Choice Honey Balsamic Chicken Steaming Entree with added spinach and 1 mozzarella string cheese stick

Dinner: Healthy Choice Beef Strips Portabella Complete Meal

Snack: Quakes rice snacks

The Beginning

2011-11-20T19:16:00.000-08:00

To catch you up...

Saturday, November 19th:

Breakfast - 1/2 Cup of Quaker Old Fashioned Oats - Yep, the ones you have to cook. Add a packet of Splenda, about 15-20 raisins, and a sprinkling of cinnamon and it's great! If it doesn't taste great at first, give it some time. Your body needs to come down off of a sugar and salt high. It'll happen. :-)

Snack - 1 stick of string cheese - get the light version. It's mozzarella cheese and no, it doesn't really taste like much, but it curbs hunger. (1 Frigo Cheese Heads Light String Cheese Stick)

Lunch - Honey Balsamic Chicken Healthy Choice Steaming Entree. Add some frozen spinach if you want to get a little crazy!

Snack - 1 medium sized apple

Dinner - Slow Roasted Turkey Medallions Healthy Choice Select Entree. One 6oz serving of very low fat or fat free plain yogurt. Plain, not vanilla. I like mine with some Splenda and a drop or two of vanilla. It's also good with a sprinkling of crystal light drink mix!

Snack - Eat something under 130 calories... I like Quakes rice snacks. There are other selections at the links posted in the left bar, but I warn you - some are very yummy and it's hard to eat a small portion. Be careful!

Sunday, November 20th:

Breakfast - 1/2 Cup of Quaker Old Fashioned Oats with raisins, cinnamon, and Splenda

Snack - 12 Blueberries

Lunch - Roasted Chicken Verde Healthy Choice Steaming Entree with added frozen spinach

Snack - 1 Frigo Cheese Heads Reduced Fat Colby Jack Snack Sticks Cheese Stick

Dinner - Pumpkin Squash Ravioli Healthy Choice 100% Natural Meal, 1 string cheese, 1/2 apple

Snack - 1 serving of Quakes caramel crisps

In the posted links in the left bar, you'll see what items I'm buying and eating. This is a fairly inexpensive way to eat. In the height of my out of control eating, I can spend as much as $600-$700/month on meals I'm eating out at restaurants. That also includes whatever I'd buy at the grocery, drive-thrus, Quickie Marts, and any other food supply store. On this plan, I eat for under $200/month. Healthy Choice posts great coupons which makes them easily accessible to most.

The Project

2011-11-19T16:25:00.001-08:00

Beating 40. I'm in a race against time against the big four - oh. I gotta tell ya, when I look back through a twelve year old's eyes and remember where I thought I'd be at 20 and 30, I've totally missed the mark. No higher education degree. No princely husband and white dress and white picket fence. No 401K. Hell, no savings at all. No Porche (lament). I'm 37 and single. I live in a small town, and have a small job. I have cats. Not ten, mind you, but two - and that's enough. I have a loving relationship for the first time in my life with a guy who actually puts up with me. I like to believe it's because he understands me and sees me for my potential's worth. I think, because of that, I have the guts to take this step for the first time in my life. Because I can't fail. Even if I fail, he won't see me as a failure, and that's all I need to know.

My mom and dad were 30 when I came along. I wish I could say that it was a happy childhood, but it wasn't. Take an overbearing mom and an under-protective dad. Add a dash of sexual abuse (by a "friend" of the family). Add a pound of emotional abuse. Sprinkle in the occasional abusive boyfriend. Bake for thirty years and voila. You know the story.

I'm 5'8 and I weigh 265 pounds. I've been to counseling. I've been to Overeater's Anonymous. I've been back to counseling. And although I've learned a lot about myself along the way, I haven't learned how to turn down that huge voice inside my head that drives me to eat. It's like having no control of your actions... like a twitch or a yawn. It's knowing what not to do and doing it anyway. It's screaming out in a library or running wildly through the glassware section of a department store. It's negotiation, constant talking, back and forth, do I don't I, tiring. It's gasping for air when there's no room to breathe.

And you'll say, "Just don't eat." To those of you who feel that way, I ask you to read extensively about addictions before you pass judgement. I've always known I've had a problem but have felt powerless to do anything about it. Over the last few years, I've learned how to regain a modicum of control, but it only goes so far. There are moments where you just have to step back, go to sleep, get as far away from food as you can because it is so big. So, intimidating. So controlling.

So here's to thirty-nine. I'll be posting my daily menu so that if you're here, with me, you'll know you're not alone. After purchasing a week's worth of food from very expensive frozen foods program through a website, I have chosen to switch to Healthy Choice meals. I am following an outline that will include frozen meals that range between 200 and 300 calories, daily servings of fruit and dairy, and a snack to end the day. I am not a professional, but I know that healthy people can thrive on this kind of caloric outline. There are many means to the same end and this is the path I've chosen. If you need a supportive voice or a hand to hold, I'm here. And I'll be here every day. Until thirty-nine.